I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
