do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
