I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
