Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize