Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize