And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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