Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You are a genius and a whore.
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