You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
