That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
