When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize