Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
