i permit you to call me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
