Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
