Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
