I showed him my bush... on skype.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
