She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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