the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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