she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
