So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
