Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
