Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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