i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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