it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
