3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
