So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
