Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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