What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
