I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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