Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize