I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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