There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
