wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Can Purell be used as lube?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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