One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
