Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
