That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
