he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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