Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
