I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
