Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He kissed a someone with a penis
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
