you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
