Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
