her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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