i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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