Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just high enough for therapy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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