i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
