Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
