Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
