why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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