i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
