coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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