K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
