Who did Billy Mays play for?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
