She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
