I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
