That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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