The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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