She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
