shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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