I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
