Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize