Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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